I am writing this for self-destructive self. I’ve met someone who made me discovered about myself more than I could even imagine. It’s amazing how it only took a short period of time. She need not much time to make me realize that my ambitions, greed, impatience and ego is slowly making everything I hold of value can’t be grasp or fall from grip as if my hands are made of wet sand.
She is someone I hold of value… It is a shame that the person whom I value as a friend, partner, confidant and lover will soon be leave due to a small yet significant exchange of words.
I wasn’t expecting that my foul tongue could sabotage my heart so unexpectedly. If only I voiced out my concerns not through my fingertips tapping onto a block of technology but rather in person. In which, I could use my arms to wrap around the person when mistakenly uttered words with false intention.
In a way which I could stare at her pure innocent eyes, while I break words softly by controlling the volume coming out of my throat. I am but a fool, using technology in a way it must not be. That cursed phone should only rely information not emotions. It is as if I have never learned from past relationships ruined cause of my impatience to see the person before voicing concern.
I am humbled. Now I know why relationships don’t last. Mostly the reason is within self not the other party. I’m not easily satisfied even if what I have is something others long to have in there lifetime. Even when it is so good to be true, I crave more. It is greed why I have not acquired heavy pockets. It is impatience why I rush things that takes time resulting in spoilage. It is ego why I force love not for the sake of love but for the satisfaction of it. Valuable lesson learned for the next days to come, unfortunately, without you in them.